A Letter From Kay

My Dear Earl,

Two years have passed since your untimely death. I started thinking about all the things that have happened in the last two years. Our 9th grandchild, Baron was born. He was the first of your grandchildren you did not help bless. Emily was baptized. I knew as I spoke at her baptism you were there. Our first grandchild, Zac received the priesthood. Our Sam returned home from serving an honorable mission in Mexico. You were so proud of him. Returning home without you here has been hard for him. He is doing great in school and spends a lot of time snowboarding. Our sweet Lauren has been so wonderful. She reminds me often of the time you came to her after your death and told her you were in a better place and that she, I and Sam would be ok. She says that "Dad would be proud of us because we are doing good." You were her best friend. Sometimes when I wake her up in the morning she has the picture of you and her in bed with her. She asked me the other day, "Do you think that people would think I am weird because sometimes I talk to Dad?" She misses all the movies and time you spent together. She especially misses all the times you made her laugh with your corny jokes. I told her I am sorry, I am just not a funny person. You were always so proud of Allyson, Farrah, and Kristy and the great mothers they were. We talked a lot about that there was no greater joy as a parent than seeing your children be good parents and raising wonderful kids. I marvel at what good husbands they have and the parents that they are. Allyson and Steve finished their house you watched the progress of daily as it was being built. They entertain family and friends often as was a tradition we had in our home. They have been so good to Lauren and me. Farrah and Bart are doing great. Farrah's business continues to grow. Our precious Gabe had a terrible accident this past year. He fell backwards out of a third story window. When we arrived at the hospital his first words to me were a whisper "Papa protected me." I know you had a hand in his miracle. I am so grateful for that. Kristy and Scott are in Moscow Russia. Scott loves his job at the Embassy and the family is adjusting to living in a new country and loving it. All of our sweet grandchildren are growing up. I have watched them grow and change over the past two years and I am only sad you are not here to see it. Little Addy told me last week, " I have two friends in heaven. One is Jesus. He is my brother and one is Papa. He is my papa." These grandchildren talk of you always and love you. It has been so hard for all of us without you. Your mother has visited us twice this year. She is so Lonely without your daily emails and phone calls. It is always hard when a mother has to see one of her children die. I am grateful she was here to spend your last days with you. You would be proud of us all for the way we have carried on since your death. The time when I was so overcome with grief on the first fathers day after you death and felt like I just could not go on I took a drive in the beautiful mountains you loved. I heard your voice say to me that I had to go on for our children and grandchildren. That you were not here for them so I had to live for both of us. You told me I was stronger than I thought I was. You were right. I am stronger than I thought I was at that time. I have gone on for both of us. Through good times and bad I am there for our family. You would be so proud of all of us and in fact I am sure you are. I am sure you do watch over us. The Lord continues to bless our family enormously. I am so grateful for his bounteous blessings. I am so grateful for the many years that you and I had together. I am so grateful for the family that we raised together and the many others we took into our home over the years. I am so grateful that we all loved and laughed and shared and played and worked together. We had it all. I am grateful for the temple marriage that seals us for eternity. I know my sweet Earl that shortly we will all be reunited for eternity. I live with that peace. You are missed and loved by so many.

Love,
Kay